Wednesday, 14 January 2009


When I got home that night as my wife served dinner,
I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you.
She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth.
But I had to let her know what I was thinking.
I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words,
instead she asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry.
She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man!
That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping.
I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our
marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer;
she had lost my heart to Dew. I didn't love her anymore.
I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement
which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30%
stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces.
The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger.
I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy
but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly.
Finally she cried loudly in front of me,
which was what I had expected to see.
To me her cry was actually a kind of release.
The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for
several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her
writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but
went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I
was tired after an eventful day with Dew.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I
just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she
didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's
notice before the divorce.
She requested that in that one month we both struggle to
live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple:
our son had his exams in a month's time and she
didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she
asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal
room on our wedding day.

She requested that everyday for the month's duration I
carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning.
I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days
together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions... She
laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what
tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my
divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I
carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy.
Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his
arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom
to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten
meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said
softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded,
feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She
went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She
leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her
blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman
carefully for a long time.. I realized she was not young any
more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was
graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a
minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of
intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten
years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of
intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about
this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by.
Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on
quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then
she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly
realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why
I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and
bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and
touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time
to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his
mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife
gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I
turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my
mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms,
walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the
hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I
held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day,
when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our
son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I
hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without
locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me
change my mind... I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and
I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead.
Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head.
Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce.
My marriage life was boring probably because she and
I didn't value the details of our lives,
not because we didn't love each other any more.
Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day
I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and
then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked
downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of
flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on
the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every
morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile
on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed

- dead.

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a
relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the
money in the bank, blah..blah..blah. These create an
environment conducive for happiness but cannot give
happiness in themselves. So find time to be your
spouse's friend and do those little things for each
other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage.

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